As a practitioner of Christian parenting, one of the most challenging things you will face is how to balance the love you feel for your children with the knowledge you have of Scripture and other Bible teachings. There are many reasons why children become defiant. They become defiant because their parents do not set limits, set rules, and establish clear expectations. Often times, the reasons are difficult to understand. Many of the reasons are rooted in confusion over the issues of sex and identity. Parents often blame themselves or the children when problems arise.
Here are three reasons why children become disobedient in Christian parenting. The first reason is there is a profound lack of discipline and structure. Often times parents don’t set limits and when challenged by this lack of discipline they simply redefine what discipline means to them.
Teaching children to obey without fear of consequence? The choice to send children to a Christian boarding school with a lengthy history of evangelical Christian teaching?
The second reason why many children in Christian parenting situations become defiant is because of identity issues. Many times children who are born and raised as Christian parents in good homes begin to feel like second-class citizens in their surrounding culture. Whether this is simply due to the pressures of being a member of the Christian faith in public or a conscious effort to blend in and not draw too much attention to their beliefs (some do this deliberately), many of these children internalize their feelings of guilt, and blame themselves and others even when the behavior they are engaging in doesn’t match up with their perceived self-image. A lack of Christian parenting resources may very well contribute to this, but even more important is the need for Christian parents to take time out to focus on their children and helping them grow and learn from their mistake.
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